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Hello and Greetings

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Welcome my friends.  After a rather harrowing  period which saw a downward spiral of suicidal thoughts and self hate I am taking the positive steps to heal. For years I have been suppressing my shame, pain, violence, debauchery,  promiscuity, vices and my fucked up family.  The energy taken to suppress and play normal has had a huge effect on me and I want to be free from the past.  Now ready to release my sins and heal, I thought a fabulous healing process would to be to finally share my inner thoughts and experiences. Over the next one hundred days I will expell one demon at a time…… xoxo

Overcome the dissolution

Looking at my desires, unaware of its manifestations

Reeping what is sown

The heart set on the admirer

What unfolds?

Desires unfulfilled, pain and hurt consumes

Clear the murky cobwebs

Spring clean my soul, mind and heart

Make way for the gift of abundance from universe

Nourishment will hold

Dear Lover

Here are the things I want to tell you but I know you won’t care.

Fuck it!

Firstly, I did truly adore you. I found you kind, warm and light hearted.

Because of this I was able to open up and also get over my lack of confidence.

I have a loveless marriage and stay for my children.

That’s a big price to pay but my children are my world.

Your last message confused me.

My last video I sent made me vulnerable as it was more intimate showing my face.

Your last message simple made me feel devalued.

I understand you were setting boundaries but the tone was very cold.

Something has changed and my gut is telling me something which I’m yet to understand.

Anyway, I’m hurt and that’s not fun.

Best we call it a day and leave things.