Welcome my friends. After a rather harrowing period which saw a downward spiral of suicidal thoughts and self hate I am taking the positive steps to heal. For years I have been suppressing my shame, pain, violence, debauchery, promiscuity, vices and my fucked up family. The energy taken to suppress and play normal has had a huge effect on me and I want to be free from the past. Now ready to release my sins and heal, I thought a fabulous healing process would to be to finally share my inner thoughts and experiences. Over the next one hundred days I will expell one demon at a time…… xoxo
My dear friend, may we bathe in the moon light while walking the Moors.
Frolic in the sweet jasmine scent whilst embracing ours amours.
Tumble down hills with laughter amongst the autumn falling leaves.
Cruise in a baby blue Cadillac with fluttering hair made by the breeze.
Capture lit summer days with endless screaming tears of joy.
Explore exotic dark nights whilst you watch me banging my toy.
We wear a mask to bury our shame,
And sometimes to be appear the same.
Each morning we find our dress,
And that mask to cover our awful stress.
We walk amongst our friends and peers,
Dreading the mask won’t hide our fears.
We wear the mask to obscure that pain,
All this pretending is done in vain.
Who is brave enough to shine,
And have no mask and be just fine.
whether you are 14, 28 or 65,
you will stumble upon someone
who will start a fire in you that cannot die.
However, the saddest, most awful
truth you will ever come to find––
is they are not always
with whom we spend our lives
Love froze in my heart by the dormant mother imposed.
The body lies still beneath the cold Winter’s snows.
Silence exposed, silence erodes, secrets whisper cry dark sorrows.
So somber my soul, so empty my heart, watery orbs streams my harrows.
Who lays at the grave, who avoids all fear.
Underneath the cold baron earth lies bear roads to despair.
Disowned and betrayed by the one the who bore,
The confusion consumes my thoughts so raw.
Above the blue heavens the heart beats tougher.
Beneath the true heavens I do suffer.